Was it just me or were there more readings this week than in previous? Possibly I just found this week a bit more of a slog than other weeks - though there were aspects of the readings that I thought were interesting, overall I have to say this was not the most stimulating of weeks (ironic as I think this is the grouping into which I belong..)
Most of the readings I found to be accurate, I had no argument with anything I read - which may have been the problem, there was no moment of lightbulbs going off above my head, no moment when everything kind of came together. It was all very straightforward. The article "Midlife Myths" seemed to explain everything from the other readings fairly succinctly - being at a place in life where on one hand there are less worries to figure out where to go and what to be (because you are in the middle of doing it) though that is balanced by the stresses of caring for others, be it children and/or aging parents.
The one thing in that article that did really catch my eye (and make me laugh) was a description of a lawyer who was quoted as saying "This is being a lawyer? I'd rather be a kid wanting to be a lawyer." I feel like that happens a lot. Or at least has happened to me a lot. I have gone through several stages of life where I thought I wanted to be something or other, but when the reality of it set in I found that it was not at all what I wanted. It is so difficult as a younger person to comprehend what a particular job is actually comprised of. I wish I had been more of a go-getter and done more volunteering or an internship or work placement. The problem being that everything takes time and the youth are always in such a rush to get where they are going. Well, I was.. Even though I didn't know where that was.
Going back to school as an older student has been really interesting. I have enjoyed it so much more than I ever did in my youth. I am interested to learn all this stuff, and able to apply myself so much better. I am doing what I want to be doing rather than doing homework when I would rather be out hanging out with my friends. High school seemed like more of a placeholder than anything - somewhere we had to go until our time was up, but that didn't really hold any useful function. I wish I had been more interested in learning when I was younger, or had someone to point me in the direction of learning. My husbands family was very much in attendance as regards the kids and their education, and I can see how that has made a big difference in their schooling, both secondary and post secondary. My mother did not have any post secondary education and despite being an incredibly bright lady (in the 50s when she graduated high school the principal of the school visited my grandparents and told them my mother should be going to college - but my grandparents chose to send my uncle rather than my mother because he was a boy - and they could only afford to send one of their three children) she became embroiled in the life of being a single mother, barely getting through a work day and feeding the kids - making sure we were living up to our potential had to take a back seat..
Everyone's path to their chosen career is so different - I can't imagine where I would be if I had known from an early age what I wanted to do with my life. I certainly would have the wonderful family that I do now.. And being that I feel I am on the right educational tract for the first time in my life, it makes me wonder if I HAD "known" early on, would it have been the right decision, or would I have even been able to evaluate it as right or wrong at any point?? So many people have second careers these days.. or third careers, or fourth.. I wonder if this is the end for me, or if I will find myself back at school again 15 years down the road...
It's interesting how we are able to redefine ourselves so many times in our lives, and there are basically no limits to what anyone can accomplish when we set our minds to it. I've known people in their 40's who when faced with great loss think that their lives are already spent and it is too late to make a change, and others that still date, choose completely different careers, and become successful in them.
ReplyDeleteI find the story about your mother to be really interesting. Mostly that college back in those days was set aside for the best and the brightest, or the well endowed, fortunate enough to pay their way--That it was more of a rare occurrence of the elite, who were stashed away in ivory towers, making the big changes in how we operate as a society. And those who were privileged enough to make it were not acting as frivolous and aloof about their education as many are today.
These days a lot more people are able to go to college, despite the ever expanding debts and costs. You see a lot more people in the midlife era redefining themselves and their education. I often times think I have gotten too late of a start going back to school at 26, but then realize that there is nothing unusual about that at all.
My “light bulb” from these readings was around the idea of the mid-life crisis. I thought there were a lot of interesting ideas that come from that, and it has been something that has been deeply reflected in our culture. Have you ever seen the movie American Beauty? A perfect example of what it means to chase all of the things you think you want, and in the end realizing you never wanted any of it. The dismantling of structure, and the way we forcibly redefine ourselves, sometimes even at the cost of others, is a very powerful concept in identity.
American Beauty is a great example of midlife crisis - and what I thought about when you referenced that film (sorry, I have a degree in Film Studies so I might get on a roll here..) was the way the main couple in the film grew apart - growing to want different things in both large and small ways, despite sharing a life together. It really interests me as to how that can occur. What has to happen when you share your day to day life with someone, bring up a child with them, yet at some point you just stop connecting, stop wanting to connect, stop making any effort. Sam Mendes did a great job of exploring that dynamic in the film and showing how everything comes tumbling down in expected and unexpected ways..
ReplyDeleteI have the same feelings as you do, in the sense High School was the social 6-7 hours of my day and I had no idea where I was headed after graduating. I always knew that I wanted to be in the medical field just had no direction of how to get there. I finally figured it out at 27 and am on my way now, though had I have figured it out sooner I bet I would have hated it!
ReplyDeleteAs another mid lifer going back to school I feel the same. I am getting much more out of it this time around. I really struggle with balancing work and my 2 babies (16 and 13) still at home and keeping up on homework. I am much more effective at time management now than I was in my twenties or I don't think I could do it yay middle age.I think we all eventually find our way to our intended path I do wish I would have started pursuing my RN earlier but I can't think of one experience that I would trade.
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